Being Ready Doesn’t Mean Feeling Completely Certain
You’ve prepared for the meeting.
You know your presentation. You’ve thought about what you want to say and perhaps anticipated some of the questions you might be asked.
And still, your mind says:
“Maybe I should go through it one more time?”
It makes sense.
When something matters to us, we want it to go well. Preparation can help us feel more confident.
But preparation can’t remove every unknown.
Why do I still feel anxious when I’ve prepared?
We can sometimes assume that if we still feel nervous or uncertain, we haven’t prepared enough.
So we rehearse again, check our notes, try to anticipate another question.
It may reassure us for a while.
But being prepared and feeling certain are two different things.
You can know your material and still feel nervous.
You can be ready for a meeting and still wonder how it will go.
You can prepare thoroughly and still be asked something you hadn’t anticipated.
None of those things necessarily mean you aren’t ready.
Making room for uncertainty
When we experience performance anxiety, it can be tempting to try to get rid of the nerves or uncertainty before we begin.
But what if feeling uncertain isn’t the problem?
Instead of trying to reach a point where you feel completely certain, you can acknowledge what’s there:
I’ve prepared, and I still feel a little uncertain.
Both can be true.
You don’t have to criticise yourself for wanting reassurance. Your mind is trying to protect you from something going wrong.
But you also don’t have to wait for complete certainty before taking the next step.
There may be an unexpected question.
You might briefly lose your train of thought.
You may feel nervous when all eyes turn towards you.
And you may discover that you can handle those moments when they happen.
Because being ready isn’t about knowing exactly what will happen.
You can prepare well and still feel uncertain.
Further Reading
Uncertainty is a normal part of situations where we can’t predict exactly what will happen. Research suggests that finding uncertainty particularly difficult to tolerate can also play a role in social anxiety.
If you’d like to explore the psychology behind this further, this research looks specifically at the relationship between intolerance of uncertainty and social anxiety:
Boelen, P. A., & Reijntjes, A. H. A. (2009). Intolerance of uncertainty and social anxiety. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 23(1), 130–135.
