Strategies to Improve Your Self-Talk for Better Mental Health

Improving self-talk is important for better mental health not only because it helps to regulate feelings but can also help to reduce anxiety and stress. When we tweak our self-talk, we increase our self-esteem and confidence, allowing us to take on new challenges. Additionally, improving our self-narrative can give us a sense of improved overall well-being.

What is Self-talk?

The internal dialogue you have with yourself—the unspoken thoughts you have throughout the day—is referred to as self-talk. Positive thinking frequently results in positive self-talk. When your inner voice uses positive words to process thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, you are engaging in positive self-talk. Negative thinking, on the other hand, leads to negative self-talk. When you use self-defeating language or affirm negative biases about yourself, others, or the world around you, you are engaging in negative self-talk. This can affect your mood and make you feel low.

What is Positive Self-talk?

An internal conversation that emphasises happy thoughts is called positive self-talk. For instance, you might say to yourself after making a mistake, “I made a mistake, and it is normal to make a mistake. However, I’m learning from this experience.” This kind of talk is reassuring and kind. Self-talk that is motivating also fits into this category. For instance, you might believe you can handle a huge presentation at work since you are a skilled communicator and knowledgeable on the subject. You might say to yourself, ‘I can do this; I have completed more challenging presentations before.’ Positive self-talk can improve our mood; we experience less anxiety, have better relationships, and have a more positive self-image. It is a healthy coping mechanism.

What is Negative Self-talk?

When you dwell on unfavourable ideas about yourself, you engage in negative self-talk. Rumination can worsen self-doubt, increase stress and damage your mental well-being. For instance, you may feel inadequate after a mistake because you “always mess things up.” This way of thinking is counterproductive and, over time, can lead you to stop taking risks and embracing challenges. Furthermore, negative self-talk can “fuel” anxiety, despair, and stress while reducing self-esteem. This may result in a decline in motivation and increased feelings of helplessness.

Below are some Strategies to help you manage and improve Self-Talk

It is often a blended mix of strategies that can help to improve our self-narrative, so putting a little time in for reflective practice is essential. What can often get in the way of improving self-talk is thinking that we don’t have the time or the ability to notice it – it is too complicated or takes up too much time. But in reality, it doesn’t, and it is a great investment if you want to improve your self-talk.

You may like to source a pad and a pen for the following exercises. Some clients have found it helpful to use their phones as it is easier and more accessible. You might like to write down your thoughts as you notice them. Alternatively, put some time aside for this exercise in the morning or evening. 

1. Acknowledge Your Negative Self-Talk:   Recognise when you are engaging in negative self-talk. For example, you might notice thoughts like, ‘I am rubbish at this,’ or panicked thoughts about making a mistake. You might notice an uncomfortable feeling. Pause. Ask yourself what is behind this feeling: ‘Why am I feeling this way?’ Most of the time, there is a thought behind it. ‘I am scared’ and ‘I can’t do this’ are common thoughts.

2. Reframe Your Thoughts: Once you’ve identified your negative self-talk, challenge it by reframing it in a more positive and productive way. Focus on things that will help you develop a more positive attitude, such as your strengths and accomplishments. Take the opportunity to reassure, not berate yourself: ‘I made a mistake, but it doesn’t mean I am not good at this task,’ ‘I am feeling scared, but I have felt scared before in meetings, and I managed to speak and even saying something shows courage,’ ‘I can do this, I can complete this task even though I am feeling anxious.’

3. Incorporate Positive Thinking into your Day:
Listening to empowering podcasts, guided meditations, and affirmations has been shown to improve positive self-talk. Using affirmations at the start and the end of the day can be a powerful way to improve confidence and, with other tools, can help to change long-standing thought patterns and beliefs. Affirmations are positive phrases and statements that make you feel more at ease about yourself. If you want to experience long-lasting, sustained improvements in your thoughts and feelings, you must practise positive affirmations on a regular basis. Regular use of affirmations can help to build a more positive sense of self that can help us be more resilient to challenges when they arise.

4.  Take Action: Make lifestyle changes to improve your mental health and well-being. This may include exercising, participating in hobbies and activities that make you happy, eating healthier, and getting enough sleep. A healthy lifestyle is clinically proven to improve self-talk and reduce anxiety and stress.

5. Seek Professional Support: If you have difficulty managing your mental health and find it tricky to engage in positive self-talk, seeking professional assistance from a registered therapist may be worthwhile.

Solution-focused Hypnotherapy

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I use Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy, an evidence-based, modern psychotherapeutic approach. This form of therapy is an effective treatment for anxiety, that helps to build resilience through talking therapy and Hypnosis. In the sessions, we explore and work to change how you see yourself and think about your life.

We look at unhelpful thoughts and behaviour, setting goals that include carrying out tasks between appointments. It is a collaborative process where we work together to help you find answers to problems, and it’s my job to ask the right questions to help you find solutions that allow you to take back control and move forward. We use Hypnosis, or ‘trance’, as an aid to cement the work that we do in the talking therapy part of the session. Hypnosis is a natural state where the mind can relax and focus on thoughts and suggestions that help you to change how you see the problem.

I have had the pleasure of supporting a range of people from all walks of life online and in person, in the public and private sectors and in specialist areas of performance psychology – fear of public speaking, stage fright, and optimal performance in the performing arts and sports performance.

Please get in touch with me at hello@annettesloly.com or direct on 0117 214 0706 to make an appointment. Alternatively, please fill in a contact form here. Read about treatment, in-person and online.